The soul that was scared to go

This November, in the air as I was flying to Portugal, a text came to me that I had to catch. I shared it first on new years eve on an open stage. It's a conversation between Counsiousness and a soul who is scared to incarnate as a human on earth.

The soul that was scared to go

- I'm scared. Said the soul to consciousness.

- What are you scared of, little one? Answered the great cosmic being.

- To be born. Said the soul.

- Why are you scared to be born?

- Because there will be so much pain and suffering.

- Ah yes, I understand. You are scared of being hurt, is that it?

- Yes… said the soul and shuddered.

- Then I have only one question for you my love, do you believe anything on earth can hurt you?

- Well.. it can hurt…

- Yes, it will seem like it. But will you take damage? What is it on earth that you fear will be able to touch a soul like you?

- Oh… yes… said the soul. But I will forget all that!

- It seems like you are already forgetting. You will also eventually remember. And then the memory of the pain will also seize.

- But my body, the one I will become, that one will feel pain, and loss and will have to die. If I go, I will have to experience dying! I will be so scared!

- Yes, my love, you might experience the greatest of pain, and as you do so, you will discover your own limitless strength.

- But I don't want to go. I don't want to put myself through all that again…

- Are you sure? You can always stay here, for as long as you like, be endlessly cradled in the embrace of my totality.

And then consciousness added: … but I think, now that you have already broken off from my body, that you are not only willing but ready.

The soul hesitated and then said:

- That seemed like a great idea just a moment ago, but now I am scared to fulfil my desire and take that leap into earth.

- Ah, but it will be great fun. Encouraged the endless. An adventure you could never have if you stayed here with me. In addition, you are of great help to me if you go, little one. Every day, every minute you are down there, I grow in wisdom.

- Well, what's the point of that? You are already complete, are you not?

- The point, dear one, is beauty. Simply love, incarnated.

The soul did not answer this but sat for a while in silence.

- It's time to go, little one. Just relax, and if you will, I plant a seed in your heart for you to remember I am always with you. Maybe you will forget about us, but this seed will start to grow when you most need me. Now go, and experience the fullness of being alive.

- Wait! I'm not ready… what if… what if i get born as someone with chronic illness? Or… I get born to parents who neglect me to the point I'll live out my life in hate and bitterness?

- I will weep for you then, little one. But I will love you all the same.

- But what if I fail! If I get so caught up in fear I never truly live or get stuck in greed or.. addiction.. or things?

- To me, you never fail, dear one. You are still part of me, and I learn from you, whatever you do, it will end up in perfection.

- Or even worse! The soul went on desperately. What if I hurt someone? What if… what if I murder or even torture someone? One of my own brothers or sisters! Then you will surely not love me any more.

- Easy now, easy. These are paths I do not wish for you, but do you remember what we just talked about? About how you cannot truly be hurt by anything you come across in the material? Well, how then, do you think that you can truly hurt anyone else who shares body with me? Who is eternal? You will feel great suffering if you commit acts like that, and that suffering is the only aid I can send you while you are down there, so listen carefully when you feel it.

The soul was crying now.

- You are so endlessly cruel! I don't want life, I don't want earth, I don't want this chaos, you are so cruel and unjust, why do you do this to us? Why do you turn away?

And this time, consciousness answered in a clear and direct tone, a tone that could even be heard as stern.

- No, my child, I am always at your side. Only you can turn away from me, and as a consequence, you will feel great despair. I am always here. Smiling at you from the cracks. You might want to turn away from what you see, from me, from what you have done, but everything is perfectly orchestrated by every single particle of me and everything can be savored and experienced fully, if you only accept it and turn yourself towards it. Go bravely into the depths of misery and you will hear me laughing with the sweet tones of a child.

- But what if I never remember? Never care to look for you?

- Well, all the sweeter our reunion will be then, once you are done.

- It will be such a relief! Sighed the soul.

- Yes and although I cannot guarantee that one the fates you just described is not yours to live, you will be equipped with the opportunity to change all that while you are still living. You will have the opportunity to turn even the darkest of night into bright light.

At these words the soul shone up.

- Is that true? I may live on earth, have fun, have a body and also remember and be in love? That feels… magnificent! Ah! That’s.. That is what I want to do. THAT's what I came here for!

The endless chuckled.

- So it's settled then.

The soul nodded, gazing with determination into the distance.

- Live well, little one, and I await your return with great anticipation.

- I'll tell you everything. Said the soul, smiling.

- And I will listen.

Tova Ekenberg

9th of November 2024

tova ekenberg @2019